The Karma Sutra and the continuing need for sex education for adults
Usually, when people come across the term ‘sex education,’ they automatically think about the often contentious world of juvenile sex education targeting children. Due to the increasing rate of teen pregnancy and juvenile STD rates, education policy leaders in the US and Western Europe implemented juvenile sex education programs starting in the 1970s.
While the overall effectiveness of such programs are open to debate (especially in light of their supposed conflict with parental control), it would be safe to say that such sex education programs are a permanent part of junior high school and high school curricula in the US and elsewhere.
Social responsibility and Sex Education
Interestingly enough, despite the wide adoption of school-based sexual education for kids and teens, more and more adults are looking to benefit from formalized sex education. What gives? Well, the reason for this clamor is quite different from the policy considerations driving sex ed for kids and teenagers. Here are just handful of the otherwise long list of reasons why more and more adults are seeking adult sexual education.
Reason #1: A more formalized sensual learning environment ensures greater and faster progress
How many things did you learn in junior high or high school do you still remember? Maybe you retained a few things here and there but you probably only have a fragmented understanding of such lessons. This definitely applies to sexual information. You might have gotten the basics but maybe you need a refresher.
While people can always turn to the Internet for sex ed materials, not all the materials can be trusted. Also, not everyone has the time to screen several dozen sources so they can get to trustworthy credible information. Even if adults did manage to find the time to find and compile trustworthy information, they might need a more structured environment to thoroughly absorb and implement such information. In other words, they might need a classroom or formal type environment to fully learn such materials.
Adult sex ed provides trustworthy materials in a formal yet time efficient environment so adults with busy schedules can learn the things they need to become more functional sex partners.
Reason #2: A focus on systematic pleasure giving and receptivity
A large percentage of people who seek out sex education for adults are people who simply just want to step their game up as far as the bedroom is concerned. Maybe they feel that they could be giving their partners more pleasure than they are currently capable of providing. Maybe they feel that they could be enjoying themselves more if they only knew what karma sutra positions to try with their partners. Maybe they are looking to take their experience of physical intimacy a notch or two higher.
Regardless of the particular relationship intimacy-centered or pleasure-centered reason, adult sexual instruction is definitely more than able to supply the information people need to level up their sex game. Sex instruction manuals focus on key information that help improve both the quality and intensity of sex. For example, many sex manuals identify friction and pressure points which increase pleasure while minimizing fatigue. These instructional materials also help step the partners through the process of making sure each is relaxed enough to truly enjoy sex.
While a lot of attention is focused on becoming a better lover by improving one’s ability to give pleasure, a key part of being an overall sex partner turns on how receptive a person is. The reason is simple: for you to give pleasure, you have to know what works and what doesn’t work on the receiving end. You have to have some level of receptivity and use that to guide you as you try to please your partner and get him or her to orgasm.
Simply focusing on giving is not going to be enough. Oftentimes, what separates truly intense and memorable lovemaking from simple plain vanilla ‘going through the motions’ sex is attention to detail and degrees of arousal and intensity. It truly is hard to get this nuanced approach if you’re just focused on giving. You have to learn how to receive pleasure so you can get the intricacies down and fine tune your game for maximum effect.
Reason #3: A focus on crucial yet often neglected emotional cues needed for amazing sex
Sex is a basic drive like hunger, sleep, thirst, and excretion. It’s part of your normal makeup as a biological being. However basic this drive may be in terms of necessity, we can’t let it remain basic if we want truly great and enjoyable sex lives. If you were to let it remain at a basic level, you would just be settling for the bare minimum of sexual enjoyment. You’ll just be going through the motions.
Settling for a basic sex life is like eating macaroni and cheese all day every day. Don’t get me wrong, mac and cheese can make for a great meal from time to time. But if you want to truly feel like you’re living life to the fullest, you need to step things up a notch as far as your sex life is concerned. You need to move past just mastering the ‘right sex positions’ for increased pleasure. These are helpful because they help you focus on the right pressure and friction points. However, sex is not just physical. Great sex doesn’t just involve the right parts of one partner interacting with the right parts of the other partner. Truly amazing sex-the type that you’d want to remember for a long time and look fondly back on-goes beyond the physical.
You also have to pay attention to the right emotional triggers. Great sex is mostly mental and emotional. The physical portion of great sexual interaction accounts for a relatively small part of the overall equation of human personal sensuality.
Sadly, most adults are completely lost regarding the proper sensual sequence of emotional steps they need to get fully aroused on a mental and emotional level. You need this level of emotional receptivity to take sex from a purely physical experience to something more gratifying, satisfying, lasting, and meaningful.
With the proper instruction on emotional cues, triggers, and responses, lovers can truly take their lovemaking to a higher and more intimate level. Instead of just settling for intense, breath taking sex, layer on more mystery and intimacy to your intimate time together. Adults can learn practical techniques to identify, arouse, maintain, and unwind emotional triggers through proper adult sex ed instruction.
Reason #4: Formal sexual instruction for adults can help partners become better guides
Let’s face it, not all relationships involve two sexual veterans. In many cases, at least one of the partners has some serious hangups regarding sex. Maybe they just have mistaken preconceptions regarding sex. Maybe they grew up in households that are quite sexually repressed. Maybe one of the partners is getting over some sexual trauma. Whatever the case may be, there are many relationships where one of the partners has to act like the ‘guide’ or ‘mentor’ of the other partner when it comes to the physical and emotional intricacies of sex.
Without proper formal sex ed guidance, many partners can completely drop the ball when trying to instruct their partners to get on the path to a more mutually satisfying sexual experience. Maybe they know basics of great sex but they can’t seem to communicate this information to their partner in the most optimal way. Maybe they don’t have a clear idea or have a good system for proper instruction. Regardless of their specific situation, these partners could use some help in effectively communicating proper sexual techniques as well as guiding their partners through the emotions of truly great sex.
A formalized system of sexual instruction can go a long way in giving ‘teaching’ or ‘experienced’ partners the information and methods they need to gently and accurately guide their partners to better sex. At best, systematic sexual instruction can lead to a complete and total transformation of the more ‘timid’ partner into a more active and giving partner. Partners’ sex lives can truly reach new heights. At worst, a more formal method of sexual guidance can help the instructing partner develop the patience and sensitivity he or she needs to help the other partner make progress sooner rather than later.
Far from just a simple ‘cafeteria-style’ source of information, formal instructions in human sensuality helps partners identify ‘teaching moments,’ avoid awkward situations, and deal with common objections or evasive maneuvers. If anything, learning how to understand one’s partner better makes the ‘teaching partner’ a better listener and a more patient participant. This can go a long way in turning an otherwise ‘one sided’ sexual relationship into a fuller, more mutually fulfilling genuine physical and emotional partnership.
Reason #5: Adult sensual instructions and coaching help make for more assertive partners
If you feel that you’re not getting the right kind of sexual attention from your partner, maybe the reason is you aren’t asking the right way. Maybe you’re not asking at all. Whether you’re beating around the bush or simply don’t know what to ask for, sex ed for adults can help you make great breakthroughs as far as your ability to community your needs to your partner.
Great lovemaking is never a one-way street. Both partners have to step up to the plate and contribute. Similarly, great sex is never a one-person show. It’s not a matter of the woman laying back and letting the man be the star of the show. For great sex to lead to better relationships and higher levels of personal intimacy, sharing, and personal growth, both partners have to become more assertive.
Assertiveness is required for greater physical intimacy in and out of the bedroom. You have to know what turns you on and what turns you off. You need to know what types of moves, rituals, and series of actions take you closer to orgasm and which actions and signals make you cold. Besides being clear about these factors, you also need to know how to communicate these to your partner the right way.
Proper sexual communication can be a bit trick. It can quickly lead to all sorts of misunderstanding. In many cases, people confuse suggestions for criticism. Since our sexuality is a big part of our self-image and self-perception, it is too easy to feel judged, diminished, degraded, insulted, or otherwise let down when our partners give us feedback in a way that rubs us the wrong way.
Great sex ed regimens teach partners to not only speak up but they also teach partners how to communicate properly. Adequately instructed, a partner can ask to be treated a particular way in bed without coming off as demanding or insulting. In fact, with the right coaching, partners might not only be assertive but they could also be encouraging at the same time. Talk about killing two birds with one stone! This is entirely possible with a programmatic results-driven partner-sensitive sensuality education system geared for adults.
Let’s face it, none of us are getting older. Unless you speak up and let your partner know regarding how you’d like to feel in bed, chances are you will never feel fully sexually satisfied. You not only have to speak up but you have to do it right. Great sex ed programs for adults help you communicate your needs with the proper attention paid to context, timing, and the emotional state of your partner.
The Bottom Line: Sexuality instruction for adults is needed now more than ever
There are too many struggling couples out there that could use a formalized and sensitive instructional system for greater sex. Sex is not just physical. It is a complicated collection of different physical, contextual, and emotional signals. Considering all the things that could go wrong, both in and out of bed, if you communicate to your partner the wrong way, adult sensual education is crucial for better partner communications. With the proper coaching and guidance, partners can lead more complete, fulfilling, and mutually gratifying sex lives. Why settle for less than the best?